Today’s blog post is all about how to plan a wedding in two states in UNDER 6 months! Yes, you read that right. My sweet bride, Elizabeth, planned two weddings: one in Texas and one in Virginia. I invited her to share a little bit about her wedding planning experience and she had some REALLY great tips to share!
How They Met
My name is Elizabeth Barley Pool, and I met my husband, Matthew J. Pool, in the summer of 2014 at Shenandoah University in Winchester, Virginia. I was working as the House Manager for Shenandoah’s Summer Music Theater. This prestigious community theater had been a part of my life since I was very young, so I was eager to step into this role. Matthew was a graduate student, and was conducting the feature show, “Man of La Mancha”, as a student. One evening, Matthew came out to chat with some friends at the theater concession stand. I entered the concession stand from the back door. We made eye contact, and his smile was magnetic. His very smooth opening line to me was, “do you like funnel cake?” I was really surprised that he thought to ask something so constructive, but I knew that it was not the right time to bring up my gluten intolerance, so I responded, “no, but I like frozen yogurt!” That was a Wednesday night, and we went on our first date that Saturday afternoon for coffee. We dated for the next four years. I will say, that those four years presented us with some challenges. Nearly two of those four years were long distance as Matthew pursued his dream of touring nationally with two Broadway shows.
How He Proposed
Matthew (finally) proposed on Friday, April 6, 2018. He took me on a scavenger hunt all around Winchester. We went to all of our favorite spots — including where we met, where we had our first date, our favorite antique shop — totaling seven different stops. The last stop took us to the hill behind my alma mater, John Handley High School. This spot offers the most beautiful view in Winchester! He got down on one knee there, and after being rendered speechless, asked me to be his wife. It was an easy “yes!”
A piece of advice for future brides is to completely savor this time. We didn’t tell anyone but our immediate families that night. After the proposal, we went out to dinner just the two of us. It felt like the sweetest little secret. Neither of us posted on social media for over a week that we were engaged. There is so much competition and expectation to share this news right away. I am so glad we did not share this right away. It was so fun to tell people on our own, and not to have them discover our exciting news through social media.
The Early Planning Stages
After dating for over four years, we had talked frequently about what we wanted our wedding to look like. We both wanted a short engagement, definitely not longer than year. About a month into our engagement, we set a date of October 27, 2018. We had no worries about this six month timeline, since we were both confident in what we wanted. Okay, so here was the tricky part. Matthew is a native Texan. Virginia became a part of his life through Shenandoah University’s graduate program in musical theatre conducting. I am a Virginia native with strong ties to my community and had always pictured a wedding at my home church in Winchester. I wasn’t really interested in considering anything else.
Matthew mentioned other ideas, but I laughed them off. I knew I was not getting married any place else! Another zinger: we were going to start our newlywed life in Dallas. We would move in together that summer and get married in the fall. This was a HUGE deal. Not just the whole living-together-before-marriage thing, but leaving my hometown. It was really difficult for me to come to terms with this move, and even harder to explain to friends and family. I knew this move was a possibility since we started dating, but in the mindset of the engagement and wedding planning, it all became very real and very emotional. Obviously, the emotions of this move clouded our minds as we began planning our wedding.
What we we ended up doing was something that I never would have considered. We decided to have our ceremony in Dallas, Texas on October 27th, and a large reception in Winchester on November 3rd. In theory, this was a great idea. Matthew has a large family mostly situated in the Dallas, Texas area, so they would be able to come to our ceremony. Also, the church where we would be married would be our new home church. I have a very small extended family, but tons of close family friends in Winchester. My extended family lives in various parts of the country, so they would have to travel regardless. In reality, presenting this idea to our families was dreadful. My parents were very much against this. Like me, they had always pictured me getting married in our home church. I had grown to love Matthew’s church, and being an only child with no living local relatives, this seemed like a good idea. After some long discussions, they finally came on board. We agreed that this was literally the best of both worlds. We had our ceremony at the Church of the Incarnation in Dallas, Texas and our formal reception one week later in Winchester, Virginia at the George Washington Hotel. So, the initial planning stages were honestly pretty painful.
I recommend being completely transparent with your families about what you really want. But also, understand that your family will have expectations about your wedding that you might not even know of, and to be considerate of their feelings. In the end, it is about you and your husband — not even the wedding — you and your husband.
So, in case you are wondering — yes, we did move to a new state while we planned our wedding. We moved on Saturday, September 1st. We drove a Penske truck and my car down to Texas over a three day trip. We moved in and had to situate ourselves right away. I started a new job that same week, and Matthew hit the ground running looking for work. Seriously — someone please tell me of a bigger zinger that might get thrown in your already short engagement!? Do I recommend moving to a new state while you’re planning a wedding. No. Is it doable and can you plan a wedding in six months in one location? YES.
Choosing the Wedding Vendors While Planning a Wedding in Two States
Choosing vendors was neither a difficult nor simple process. We had to choose two photographers — one for our Texas ceremony, and one for our Virginia reception. Choosing Alina Thomas as our Virginia photographer was one of the easiest choices I made during this process. I met her at a dear friend’s wedding about a year and half earlier, and was so thrilled to learn she had relocated to my neck of the woods. Alina was so easy to talk to, and completely willing to work with our unique wedding situation! Our photographer in Texas, Ashley Rutland, gave us such wonderful photos and so beautifully captured the emotions of the day, as well. We were very lucky to have had two seamless photography experiences with our wedding!
The Wedding Venue
We were so fortunate to have had terrific vendors for our wedding and reception. Our reception location, The George Washington Hotel, in Winchester was so excellent to work with. They offered several package options we could choose from for our menu, drinks, and hors d’oeuvres for our guests. Also, out of town guests could stay and celebrate in one place! We were very pleased with our time there. I suppose the best (and worst!) part of all of this planning was that at BOTH of our celebrations, neither of us hardly got to eat ANY of the food we so meticulously selected and paid for. As someone who loves food, I found this not only irritating but also incredibly sad. So, the George Washington went above and beyond by packaging up leftovers for us and sent them up to our room for the night! We ate our dinner that night around 11 PM, and I am so happy it worked out that way in the end. It’s hard to eat and talk to your guests at the same time, but even harder to excuse yourself when there is an actual line of people waiting to give you all the well wishes. More on that later…
Wedding in 2 States: The Wedding Dress
Another vendor that went above and beyond for me was Bridal Impressions in Harrisonburg, Virginia. This was my only stop for my wedding dress! I graduated college with the owner of the shop, Brooke Driver. Choosing to shop in her boutique was a no-brainer. I really did not know what kind of dress I wanted specifically, but I knew what I did not like. Brooke helped me find my dream dress on that day. The third dress I tried on was the one — though I had to try on a few others just to be sure. Brooke and her team were so accommodating of our wedding situation. They shipped my altered wedding dress to Texas for me and it was packaged safely. They stayed in touch with me during the entire process and kept me up to date on shipping times and all other details. They were fantastic, and I highly recommend them!
Wedding in 2 States: The Wedding Invitations
Other advice would include selecting a printer for your invitations that actually has experience with wedding invitations specifically. This sounds like an obvious point, but my family was set on using a local family owned printing company that could easily handle wedding invitations, but did not specialize in them. They had substantial equipment, a spotless reputation, and kind staff. But, they also had very limited selections of paper, fonts, and envelopes that work for wedding invitations. My talented husband ended up designing an invitation that we loved, and they were able to accomodate beautifully. But, it was a bit of an uphill battle to get there with their limited resources.
Another piece of advice: stay local with vendors! Yes, a lot of online vendors have the glitzy Pinterest-worthy factor, but they also have the pricetag to go with it. We priced and the same invitations designed and purchased online through popular sites would have cost us nearly triple the money. So, at the end of the day, perhaps going with a place that does not specialize in wedding invitations was a good move financially.
The Wedding Day
On our wedding day, I felt mostly in disbelief. I could seriously not believe that I was getting MARRIED that day! It hit me the hardest the night before at the rehearsal, but it still had not fully sunk in. I got so emotional practicing our vows during our rehearsal, and I am glad that happened because it took a lot of the initial emotion out of it before the big day. Matthew and I chose to do a first look on our wedding day and I am SO glad we did! It eliminated so many nerves and you really get to fully experience the whole moment of walking down the aisle and seeing all of your friends and family. Also, it allowed me to fully enjoy the moment of my dad walking me down the aisle. Speaking of my dad, we also did a first look. I also highly recommend this — although in the moment, it was SO emotional. We both cried, and not just a single tear, like ugly cried! We had both been waiting for that moment for years. We knew it was coming, and the anticipation brought on major tears. It was good because we got to see each other and get acquainted before walking down the aisle. I also had time to touch up my makeup, and take several deep breaths before my first look with Matthew. It was SUCH a special moment. Matthew and I both cried — this time, just a few glamorous and less ugly tears. It was a moment of disbelief, really… such a beautiful moment I will never forget.
In addition, we took all of our family and bridal party portraits right after this. This also allowed so many tensions to ease up for everyone. Everyone could interact and feel less anxious about getting to the reception on time this way. Oh, I should maybe also add that both Matthew and I had a relatively small party of three matrons of honor, and three best men. Honestly, I contemplated very seriously of not having a bridal party at all. I have no sisters, and did not know my future sisters-in-law very well yet. Plus, I have a lot of dear friends that I did not want to pit against each other and rank them in order of who I liked most. That’s what it felt like to me, at least. I ended up choosing three dear friends that represented different parts of my life. Coincidentally (or not), I was a part of all of their weddings, too! SO many people thought this was interesting that we did not choose one Best Man or Maid/Matron of Honor, and a lot of our vendors were surprised. Our church thought also this was funny, and were concerned as to how we would choose witnesses to sign our marriage license! But, we all made it, and all six of our bridal party members were the perfect additions to our day. It was a great choice!
So, ladies — do not feel obligated to pick certain people to be in your wedding. Do not feel like you have to put your new family in there just because they are new family. You will get to know each other in due time, and the stress of planning a wedding is not really the best time to bond with new sisters in law, anyway.
The Least Favorite Thing
I could go on about tons more details of our day, but what fun would it be if I only shared the good parts? I will share the biggest grievance of the whole thing. The last thing I wanted to happen at our large reception in Winchester was a receiving line to form. And guess what — it did. Not just once, but twice! I truly value genuine interactions and conversations, and I loathe small talk. This was another reason we wanted to have this large reception — so that we could actually talk to our guests!
The formation of any receiving line just feels so rushed and impersonal to me. I was honestly so annoyed about this because it felt like people had set an invisible timer to give us hugs, greet us, and share a few words before they had to move on to let the next group in. So many of our guests drove an hour or more to celebrate with us that night, and it just felt so rude for me to say a quick “how are you?”, and then “great to see you!” before moving on. Even worse, were the few guests that did not exercise any manners and were unaware of the line and just cut in to say hello, oblivious to the people staring at them.
The first hour of our three hour reception was entirely a receiving line of people entering and greeting us. After a toast, a few brief moments to sit and attempt to grab a bite to eat, a farewell receiving line formed!!! We had to spend another half hour saying goodbye to the guests we literally had just greeted. We seriously never got to leave this one corner of the room because people kept tacking onto the end of the line near the bar that melted into a receiving line to greet us. I didn’t get to visit any other tables, and one of my bridesmatrons had to bring me food because I was stuck. I wish I had advice on how to have this not happen at your wedding, but I do not. Just breathe, relax, and enjoy the fact that your guests are that eager to see you. To me, these receiving lines were the worst part of our wedding. But, it was not a big deal at all. We had such a beautiful night and our guests had a wonderful time. It went off without a hitch, and we are so lucky to have dozens of family members and friends that are willing to stand in a long line just to say hello and share their love with us. It’s all about perspective, right?
Elizabeth, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on how to plan a wedding in two States in under six months! I’m beyond honored to have been there for your Winchester celebration!
